If you accept that what’s done is done, you are left with your-
self exactly as you are. You can’t go back and change anything,
so you’ve got to work with what you’ve got. I’m not suggesting
anything New Age here such as love yourself—that’s far too
ambitious. No, let’s begin with simple accepting. Accepting is
easy because it is exactly what it says—accepting. You don’t
have to improve or change or strive for perfection. Quite the
opposite. Just accept.
That means accepting all the warts and emotional lumps and
bumps, the bad parts, the weaknesses, and the rest of it. This
doesn’t mean we are happy with everything about ourselves,
or that we are going to be lazy and lead a bad life. We are
going to accept the way we are, initially, and then build on
that. What we are not going to do is beat ourselves up because
we don’t like some parts. Yes, we can change lots, but that will
come later. We’re only up to Rule 4 here.
This has to be a Rule because there can be no choice here. We
have to accept that we are the way we are—the result of every-
thing that has happened. It all just is. You, like me, like all of
us, are human. That means you’re pretty complex. You come
fully loaded with desires, anguish, sins, pettiness at times,
mistakes, ill temper, rudeness, deviation, hesitation, and repe-
tition. That’s what makes a human being so wonderful:s the
complexity. None of us can ever be perfect. We start with what
we’ve got and who we are and then we can only make a
choice, each day, to strive for some kind of better. And that’s
all people can ask of us—to make that choice. To be awake
and aware, to be ready to do the right thing. And accept that
some days you aren’t going to make it. Some days you will,like all of us, fall far short. That’s OK; don’t beat yourself up.
Pick yourself up and start again. Accept that you will fail from
time to time and that you are human.
I know it can be hard at times, but once you have picked up
the gauntlet of becoming a Rules Player, you’re well on the
path to improvement. Stop picking faults with yourself or
giving yourself a hard time. Instead, accept that you are what
you are. You’re doing the best you can at this point in time, so
give yourself a pat on the back and move on.
RULE 4
YOU DON’T HAVE TO
IMPROVE OR CHANGE OR
STRIVE FOR PERFECTION.
QUITE THE OPPOSITE.
JUST ACCEPT IT.
