Necessarily Wiser
RULE 2
There is an assumption that as we get older we will get wiser;
not true, I’m afraid. But we can carry on being just as foolish,
still making plenty of mistakes. It’s just that we make new
ones, different ones. We do learn from experience and may not
make the same mistakes again, but there is a whole new pickle
jar of fresh ones just lying in wait for us to trip up and
fall into. The secret is to accept this and not to beat yourself
up when you do make new ones. The Rule really is: Be kind
to yourself when you do muck things up. Be forgiving,
and accept that it’s all part of that growing older but no wiser
routine.
Looking back, we can always see the mistakes we made, but
we fail to see the ones looming up. Wisdom isn’t about not
making mistakes, but about learning to escape afterward with
our dignity and sanity intact.
When we are young, aging seems to be something that hap-
pens to, well, old people. But it does happen to us all, and we
have no choice but to embrace it and roll with it. Whatever we
do and however we are, the fact is we are going to get older.
And this aging process does seem to speed up as we get older.
You can look at it this way—the older you get, the more areas
you’ve covered to make mistakes in. There will always be new
areas of experience where we have no guidelines and where
we’ll handle things badly, overreact, get it wrong. And the
more flexible we are, the more adventurous, the more life-
embracing, then the more new avenues there will be to explore- and make mistakes in, of course.
As long as we look back and see where we went wrong and
resolve not to repeat such mistakes, there is little else we need
to do. Remember that any Rules that apply to you also apply
to everyone else around you. Others are all getting older, too.
And not any wiser particularly. Once you accept this, you’ll be
more forgiving and kinder toward yourself and others.
Finally, yes, time does heal, and things do get better as you get
older. After all, the more mistakes you’ve made, the less likely
that you’ll come up with new ones. The best thing is that if
you get a lot of your mistakes over and done with early on in
life, there will be less to learn the hard way later on. And that’s
what youth is all about: a chance to make all the mistakes you
can and get them out of the way.
RULE 2
WISDOM ISN’T ABOUT NOT
MAKING MISTAKES BUT
ABOUT LEARNING TO
ESCAPE AFTERWARD WITH
OUR DIGNITY AND SANITY
INTACT.
